katherinethegray

As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive - constantly - as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.

By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.

Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.

Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.

There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.

On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes.

A Woman of War by Mehreen Kasana (via pbnpineapples)

this is so empowering! beautiful 

(via dirtyflowerchild)

sclourie
'But after a while it came to me that my circumstances were entirely of my own choosing and not the fault of anyone else and that in fact I had a good life, a privileged life, even a charmed life, certainly a life as rich and mysterious as any other. This brought a new regret, in the course of all the brooding, whining blaming and demanding, all the lethargy and fantasy and denial and grievance, much of my mysterious, rich and only life had gone by without my noticing it. And with this new regret came a new wish - to go back and begin again but, instead of doing it all differently, doing it all in EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, except this time paying it all the attention it deserved. But after a while I realised that this too was misguided. There is no going back and regret in futile. The crucial thing is to start paying attention NOW.'
Michael Foley ‘Embracing the Ordinary’ (via sclourie)
sclourie
I woke up this morning
to tell you the sun has risen,
to say that the mornings
are still in bloom like fire
lilies carpeting a burnt sky.

I woke up this morning
to tell you the yellow headed
blackbirds have decorated
the pinetree outside again
and whenever they dance
they turn into the eyelets
of a large peacock tail
spread just for us.

I woke up this morning
to say that my heart still
feels empty but my soul
complete like the full moon
in a cloudless sky,

that nothing has changed
since you’ve been gone,
that the sun still rises
and the trees still spread
their wings and that my heart
is still full of stars.

I woke up this morning
to tell you I am healing,
that with every burnt sky
a new flower grows in its
place, petal by petal,

to tell you that I am full
of a song I still don’t know
the words to yet but
it is coming, and one day
I will sing it for you.

I still miss you ||  Maza-Dohta  (via maza-dohta)

Just so beautiful xx

(via sclourie)

||. Yes. Love. ( that, and a good pair of boots. And the perfect soundtrack. And the open road and the wind in my hair. And a path that takes me straight to the sea.  All of the above, plus a lifetime supply of chocolate should just about do it) ||

||. Yes. Love. ( that, and a good pair of boots. And the perfect soundtrack. And the open road and the wind in my hair. And a path that takes me straight to the sea. All of the above, plus a lifetime supply of chocolate should just about do it) ||

||   ‘All she wanted
was find a place to stretch her bones

A place to lengthen her smiles
and spread her hair

A place where her legs could walk
without cutting and bruising

A place unchained

She was born out of ocean breath.

I reminded her; 

‘Stop pouring so much of yourself
into hearts that have no room for themselves

Do not thin yourself

Be vast

You do not bring the ocean to a river’ 

you are oceanic - Tapiwa Mugabe, tapiwamugabe.tumblr.com ||

Magical mail from my favorite ocean @womanwander. Together we learn our limitless vastness and the power of tides.

|| ‘All she wanted
was find a place to stretch her bones

A place to lengthen her smiles
and spread her hair

A place where her legs could walk
without cutting and bruising

A place unchained

She was born out of ocean breath.

I reminded her;

‘Stop pouring so much of yourself
into hearts that have no room for themselves

Do not thin yourself

Be vast

You do not bring the ocean to a river’

you are oceanic - Tapiwa Mugabe, tapiwamugabe.tumblr.com ||

Magical mail from my favorite ocean @womanwander. Together we learn our limitless vastness and the power of tides.